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The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Feb 25, 2020

This week I wanted to expand on a topic I discussed in my Facebook group and on an Instagram IGTV video. It’s around the topic of forgiveness entitlement. In this episode, I also talk about addiction or abuse, and why you can’t force someone to get help. 

So, your spouse says they’re doing the work and they seem to be doing all the right things. But you still can’t trust them and they don't understand why.  You wonder, “What’s wrong with me?” There is NOTHING wrong with you. You’ve been betrayed and hurt, and you’re not healed yet. 

If your spouse is telling you that you need to get over it already, here’s what I want to say to you: the only person who gets to say when they’re ready to move forward is the person who has been the victim of the offending act — in this case, you.

When someone says they’re doing all the work, remember that actions speak louder than words. And if they are truly doing the work, they’re opening the door so that you can be okay, so you can heal and eventually, you can forgive. But, know this:

Nobody is entitled to your forgiveness. 

Tune in to hear why this is so important for your healing, your journey, and your relationships (now or in the future).  

Here are just a few of the topics I touch on in this episode:

  • The only time you should forgive someone.
  • Emotional abusers or active addicts know exactly what they are doing. YOU are the person who needs to understand the truth of what’s going on. 
  • The importance of not controlling the situation and allowing him or her to find their process to recovery.