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The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Sep 22, 2022

I’m often asked, “What does a healthy relationship even look like?” Vanessa Bennett, LMFT, author, holistic psychotherapist, and codependency expert, joins me for a conversation that addresses that question. Plus, we discuss her new book, which she co-authored with her partner, John Kim (AKA: The Angry Therapist), “It’s Not Me, It’s You: Break the Blame Cycle. Relationship Better.”  The book covers the top ten issues couples struggle with and how they can work through them. We also discuss codependence versus interdependence, love languages, and more. 

Vanessa’s therapeutic approach integrates years of study and practice in Depth, Buddhist, and Yoga Psychology. She co-hosts the Cheaper Than Therapy Podcast, leads soul-based retreats and workshops, and creates and facilitates curriculum for non-profit and corporate events and conferences.

Show Highlights

  • Halt the blame: codependency is universal and systemic (10:05)
  • Interdependence: what it is and its role in relationships (12:21)
  • Taking away the shame around our codependent ways of relating (15:34)
  • Love languages are like Cliff’s Notes for our needs (23:01)
  • Moving towards interdependence and healing unhealthy codependency (28:02)
  • When you break the blame cycle and own your shit, shifts in your relationships will happen (33:48)

Learn more about Vanessa:

After over a decade of grinding in the New York City corporate world, Vanessa Bennett realized her work, her relationships, and honestly, her life felt…off. She didn’t see it at first, but her path was finding her — and the journey she started to help herself ended up being her path to helping others.

Cue the montage of her moving across the country, having a few breakdowns, heartbreaks, setbacks, taking hundreds of hours of training and workshops in yoga, yoga therapy, nutrition, somatic therapy, and reading lots and lots of books. Oh yeah, all while becoming a licensed therapist.

It turns out that this passion paired well with her unique background in telling stories through marketing and corporate strategy, a longtime practice of meditation and yoga, and the fact that she’s a New Yorker who cuts to the point. 

Today, Vanessa lives in Los Angeles and puts all of this to work as an Author, Licensed Holistic Psychotherapist, clinical entrepreneur, and mental health content creator. She co-hosts the Cheaper Than Therapy Podcast, leads soul-based retreats and workshops, and creates and facilitates curricula for non-profit and corporate events and conferences.

Resources & Links:

Information and links may also be found at:

Grit and Grace Group Coaching is Open - Join us!
Vanessa’s website
Vanessa on Instagram
Vanessa on TikTok


As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I’ve been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade.


This program is 100% for you if…

  • You’re a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won’t destroy your kids
  • You’re looking for answers and a roadmap
  • You understand that divorce is a long game
  • You’re willing to put away your boxing gloves
  • You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids
  • You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you’re ready to ‘go there’

Are you ready to learn from one of the world’s top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome?