Episode 87: "Am I the Abuser?" with Rhian Lockard

Sep 16, 2020

A huge realization for many women going through divorce is around the emotional abuse they’ve suffered in their marriage. In my program, we have an entire module dedicated to uncovering and understanding this, part of which is hosted by my guest today, Rhian Lockard. 

Invariably, as women dive more deeply into the work of uncovering emotional abuse, they are struck with the question, “Wait, am I the abuser?” 

This week, my friend and colleague Rhian Lockard returns to the podcast to help answer that very question. (Spoiler: if you’re asking the question, you’re not the abuser.)

Rhian is a multi-certified life coach who specializes in supporting her clients out of toxic relationships with themselves and others. In this episode, Rhian helps us to understand the difference between being the abuser and being someone backed into a corner trying to save themselves from a very real threat. 

Show Highlights

• If you are asking the question, “Am I the abuser?”, you’re not the abuser.  (3:56)
• Someone who is emotionally abusive is seeking control from a relationship and not love or connection. (5:55)
• The fatal trait of a narcissist is that they want love but refuse to do the self-work. (16:02)
• Because you are not the abuser does not mean you don’t have toxic qualities. (18:03)
• How and why we start to behave in alignment with how our relationship is set up. (31:43)
• How do you get out of a toxic relationship? (35:39)
• Why you should go to therapy yourself, first. (41:48)
• How women can take back their innate sense of knowing. (48:14)

Learn More About Rhian Lockhard:

Rhian Lockard is a multi-certified life coach who specializes in supporting her clients out of toxic relationships with themselves and others. 

Resources & Links:
Rhian’s websites: Rhianlockard.com and Moonstonewitchery.com

Rhian on Facebook

Rhian’s previous appearance on The Divorce Survival Guide

Rhian’s YouTube Video - Am I the Abuser?

Look for Rhian's podcast - What Is Love? - on your favorite podcast streaming app! 

The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide

Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group